Why are things not moving?Nov 17, 2023
Have you ever experienced that things are not moving in the direction you wanted and wondered why?
I have, so many times experienced this. Both in personal relationships, specially with teenager kids and also in my professional relationships.
For example, asking my kids to cleanup their room just didn't work, still I kept on doing the same again and again and again. Until eventually I figured, this doesn1t work. Let me try another approach, and I asked; "Can you please fold all your pants and put them in your drawer today?" It worked! Except a small detail, which was that cosy-pants didn't go under the category of pants so then that was remaining for the next day.
Changing my approach worked. I just couldn't get it done while trying the same again and again.
At work this can happen either with your colleagues or as a leader. You want something to happen, but "they just don't get it!". You could try to add more control-mechanisms, more check-ins but still might not experience the result you want.
I have learned that using the technique of processing and observe the situation, including myself from the outside is super effective. If there is a situation that I am in conflict with, I will start by processing any emotions that I have attached to that situation. I will visually experience it. Then once I have processed it, I will from a neutral stance observe it, and while observing I will ask myself, what is here for me to learn? If I sit with it for a while, the answer will ususally appear and I find a solution or I find peace with the situation.
I see this practice as empowering, when I can see myself from a different perspective in which I can learn, I grow. The alternative is to stay stuck in an unwillingness to see myself from the outside.
I live by the premise that in any relationship I have 100% responsibilty of my part. That is, 100% of my half of the relationship. When I take that responsibility fully, I learn and grow, when I don't. I blind myself and blame others.
Reflecting back to the initial question. It is clear that the direction of our lives and relationships often mirrors our internal growth and willingness to adapt. This realization can be a powerful catalyst for change.
What if the results we are getting out there are only reflections of where we still need to grow, and once we pick up that learning, we evolve?
I am curious about your perspectives on this topic and I invite you to join my next monthly meetup which usually comes up towards end of the month, on a weekday during lunch-hour. Join the Circle of Friends Community here. I believe that it is through dialogue and action through practice we can embody our insights when meeting the real world. I look forward to seeing you in the next meetup!
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